Yukina Kou no Baai - Capitolo 1

Yukina is in an art class, putting the finishing touches on his most recent piece, and his professors come by to critique it. But alas, it's the same words he's been hearing with disturbing frequency lately: "As usual, your paintings lack substance..."

They don't mean to be harsh, but it's inescapable: Yukina's paintings seem beautiful on the surface, but they lack emotion, feeling, and heart. It's difficult to see a meaning to the things he paints. One of the older staff urge him to, "Try painting something you really want to paint some time."

Later, Yukina relaxes with a few friends outside during lunch, reflecting on the critique. His friends, though, seem preoccupied with deciding what to do with themselves once they graduate. There isn't much work for an oil painter these days, and they're considering changing specialties. This isn't the world they'd envisioned when they'd entered school--where with one hit work you could be set for life.

As for Yukina, his only wish is to be able to make a living painting what he loves. He suggests they hold a group exhibition in the hopes that perhaps someone may come to see it and take a liking to one of their styles, but the others are dead set against this, as Yukina's looks are sure to pull in any and all onlookers.

Still, Yukina would love to be able to live with the person he loves and paint what he likes...

But the person he loves is 9 years his senior...and a man.

At this, Yukina's cellphone beeps, and he answers--already off and gabbing away with suggestions of dinner for that evening, but Kisa cuts him off with an apology. An author of his has come down with something and may not be able to make her deadline, so he has to stay and see what happens, meaning he'll have to cancel their plans.

It's been several months since they started going out, and Yukina understands that Kisa's work keeps him very busy. He recalls fondly the 'high school student' who'd taken a liking to him, one he'd eventually realized was a 30-year-old man--and while he'd initially had some reservations about dating another man, it was as if that had never been an issue at all, given how crazy he was for the guy now.

But it hasn't been easy; Yukina had forcefully gone and stayed a week with Kisa, but despite the fact that he'd been thrilled to be able to spend so much time with Kisa, Kisa himself had seemed rather pressured by the whole experience. It feels almost as if every time Yukina takes a step towards him, Kisa takes one backwards.

And so--he feels anxious about their relationship, and that in turn leaves him getting worked up over the small things. He knows it's not good to inconvenience Kisa and be selfish, and wishes that he were a man more suited to understanding Kisa's situation. The nine years between them in age doesn't help either.

After work that evening, he receives a text from Kisa: I just left the office--we can meet now if you want.

Yukina's thrilled; it's been quite some time since they were able to be together, and he leaves the bookstore to head home--but first, he's accosted by a pair of high school girls outside the front doors of Marimo Books.

Then one of them confesses to him.

Yukina is used to this and starts to turn her down, but she's adamant, saying she doesn't mind if he has a girlfriend already. She's fine with being just his second or third or anything.

And that's when Kisa shows up. The two lock eyes--but before Yukina can say anything to explain, Kisa turns and waves him off, walking away. Yukina panics, quickly apologizing to the girl that he can't return her feelings, and adds as well: "But--don't just settle for being someone's second or third! There's someone out there who you can be the only for!"

He leaves her behind (hearts in her eyes and all at his gallant rejection) and quickly catches up with Kisa. But Kisa doesn't ask about what just happened at all, but rather seems to not be concerned in the least. Yukina is wary, and after they start walking for a bit, he broaches the subject himself, explaining that she was a regular at the story, and he made sure to properly reject her.

Kisa's only reply to this is, "I see the Prince is as popular as usual..."

Yukina just smile, leans in close, and reassures him, "No need to worry; I'm not the type to ever cheat on you."

Kisa glowers and brings a hand up between them, hastily shoving Yukina away before he can close in and kiss him. At Yukina's shocked expression, he clarifies that he feels like he's coming down with a cold and doesn't want Yukina to catch it.

Yukina apologies with a bright smile for not noticing--but inside, his worries build and build, and he confronts his fear: Has Kisa-san...gotten tired of me?

Several days later, Yukina's feeling worse than ever, drowning in a sea of confusion and despair. All they'd done that night was have dinner, with Yukina leaving to escape the awkward atmosphere a short while later. He knows he should talk it over with Kisa, and he fires off a short text message--with a response coming quickly only a moment later.

Kisa explains that he's been in bed sick for several days and hasn't been to work. He apologizes but lets Yukina know that they probably won't be able to see each other for a few days.

Yukina panics, sending a quick reply that Kisa should get to the hospital stat if it's that bad and offers to come pick him up. Kisa replies that he can't move, so he's just been taking medicine and resting; Yukina doesn't have to come over.

Yukina's having none of this though and continues to press the matter, but Kisa is first, short and succinct, telling him not to come. Yukina grows tired of the back and forth and calls Kisa up directly on the phone, but all he receives in response is Kisa saying, "Don't come," before hanging up and refusing to answer again.

Yukina is confused beyond measure--why is Kisa avoiding him like this? Luckily, he has a key--they've both given each other a key to their place, but neither has used it yet. He enters Kisa's apartment hesitantly and finds him asleep in his room.

Kisa slowly wakes and then shoots to alertness when he realizes someone's in his room, shouting his surprise when he sees it's just Yukina. Yukina then begins to pepper him with questions about his state, if his fever is down or if he's hungry or if he's eaten anything--but Kisa interrupts him, asking why he's there when Kisa explicitly told him not to come.

Yukina: "Kisa-san!! Why won't you rely on me at a time like this?! What am I your boyfriend for anyways?!"

Kisa is taken aback, but continues to assure him his sickness is nothing, he just doesn't want Yukina to catch it. He then adds:

Kisa: "Plus...you seem like you have a lot on your plate right now."
Yukina: "Eh?"
Kisa: "The other day, you mentioned...stuff about your future and critiques by your professor and how your paintings were coming along... You never complain about anything, so...I just thought it meant you were pretty hard up right now. I didn't want to inconvenience you."

Yukina is adamant that that was nothing for Kisa to worry about--but Kisa reminds him that he's the elder one here, he's supposed to be the one worrying about Yukina, not the other way around.

Yukina hazards, "So...you haven't gotten tired of me, then?" Kisa is confused, and Yukina goes on to explain that he understands Kisa's busy schedule, so he's always thrilled when they get time together, but Kisa pushed him away when Yukina tried to kiss him the other day, and he didn't seem to care at all when the girl confessed to Yukina.

Kisa reminds him that even if there aren't a lot of people, kissing in public is still kissing in public, and that he understands Yukina's popularity, so he wasn't going to let himself get bent out of shape over a single confession. Plus...

Kisa: "I...I can't do it. I can't let myself depend on you like that. If I did...I'd never want to stop."

Yukina doesn't hesitate to let Kisa know that he absolutely loves that idea. He entertains so many improper thoughts when it comes to Kisa: thinking about how he wants to hem him in so that he can't escape, or how he wants Kisa to rely only on him so that he never wants to go to anyone else, or how he could go about making it so he's the only one ever allowed to see Kisa. But really--deep down all he wants to do is make Kisa the happiest he possibly can. It's only--every time he moves closer to Kisa, Kisa seems to take one step further away, and so he isn't quite sure what to do about the distance between them.

Yukina: "Kisa-san, I…I think that you’re probably the first person…I’ve ever seriously been in love with."

At this straightforward confession, Kisa flushes brightly--and then slumps to his bed with a throbbing headache. He grumbles from beneath the covers that Yukina really could have his choice of partners--so why choose Kisa of all people?

Yukina: "Because...you're Kisa-san. Of course I've dated others to a certain degree before, but...you're honestly the first person I've ever been this head-over-heels for."

Kisa pushes himself up and leans forward, resting his head against Yukina's back, and picks at the paint-stained coveralls he's wearing. "What the hell're these dirty things you've got on...?" Yukina explains they're to keep his clothes from getting dirty while he paints, then urges Kisa to lie back down while he busies himself in the kitchen.

But Kisa has grabbed on to the material and keeps his head down, blushing.

Yukina: "Kisa-san, you'll have to let go now--"
Kisa: "...I can't."
Yukina: "...Kisa-san. I haven't touched you in well over a month, you know. If you don't let go right now...this could be bad."

And yet still Kisa refuses, brushing off Yukina's complaints that he's sick and needs to rest with, "Just hurry up already..."

Sexy times ensue, made just a bit less sexy by Yukina's continual apologies for doing this while Kisa's not feeling well. But he can't help it--he wants Kisa to depend on him, and wants to depend on Kisa as well, wants them to spoil and be spoiled by one another. He wants Kisa to always only look at him, always only touch him, always only love him.

He wants Kisa all to himself.

Afterwards, Kisa asks if Yukina plans to become an artist--and Yukina admits that it might be a bit difficult, but he'll be happy so long as he can live with Kisa and get by painting the things he loves.

Kisa: "...Sorry, but it seems like it's gonna get busy again soon."
Yukina: "Oh--I'm sorry for that."
Kisa: "I didn't mean it like--just, I won't be home all that much, so...next time, maybe you can try staying...for two weeks."

Yukina seems touched by the gesture, knowing just how much Kisa is opening up to him with this, and Kisa goes on to add:

Kisa: "And--I'm not a specialist or anything, but I think you should just...do your best, and do whatever you feel like. I'm sure you could pull it off, knowing you."

He goes on to clarify that the reason he'd shrugged off Yukina's kiss before was indeed because he'd been a bit unsettled by seeing Yukina being confessed to. Even though he trusts Yukina implicitly, he can't help being jealous. Also, he reminds, it was in a public place. "Are you even Japanese?!"

Yukina: "So--as long as it's indoors, it's fine?"
Kisa: "Well...yeah..."

Yukina can't help the overwhelming feeling of happiness knowing that Kisa is trying to cheer him on in his own special way. Kisa adds in a small voice, blushing from stem to stern, "...And just so you know, you're...also the first person I've ever been in love with."

Yukina feels from the bottom of his heart that he's glad he fell in love with Kisa, glad to have met him.

A few days later, Yukina's professor notes that his paintings have improved dramatically, asking if something good happened to him recently. "The expression on his one is particularly nice--who is it?"

Yukina responds with a soft smile, "The person I love!"

At home, Yukina's playing housewife to Kisa who drags himself in, trembling with fatigue. He eyes Yukina with his knife where he'd been cutting up vegetables and begs Yukina to plunge it into his chest and end the misery. Yukina, naturally, does no such thing

Over a delicious curry dinner, Yukina regales Kisa with the tale of how his painting that day won rave reviews from his professors and peers.

Kisa: "Heeeeeh. Good for you, then! So what'd you draw?"
Yukina: "Kisa-san."
Kisa: "Hm? Flowers, then? Or scenery or something?"
Yukina: "No, I mean--I drew you! <3"
Kisa: "Wha...EH?! WHY?! WAIT--YOU CAN'T--"
Yukina: "Everyone around me loved it, too!"
Kisa: "THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM!!"

END

non ho ankora capito perchè adesso l'anime e il manga vada di pari passo o.o se esce l'ep 9 prima vabbè lo confronteremo .però è stranissimo cmq mi aspetto ke yukina si dia da fare.voglio la resa dei conti.uno lavora troppo l'altro dice ok la prox volta

No ma il prossimo episodio dell'anime sarà basato sull'ultimo capitolo rimasto della "Kisa Shouta no Baai" cioè il numero 4!!